Ok, I can't be bothered to think of a clever title

A lot of people want us to do more PE at school. I've heard 5 hours a week flying around.

Have the government forgotten what school PE lessons are like?
Although they could, technically, be considered exercise, I think there are some other points to consider here.

1) Being forced to run around in the freezing cold in a pleated skirt is unlikely to develop a life-long love of sport.

2) There is no olympic sport called 'giving the appearence of trying really very hard while staying as far away from the ball as is geometrically possible'

3)Doing 2 high jump attempts in the course of an hour is not equivalent to an hour's exercise.

4) However hard you try, you are not going to convince me to fling myself backwards over a wooden pole.

5) Anything that makes your toes turn blue shouldn't be legal, never mind compulsory.

6) Injuries sustained by hockey sticks are probably a major burden on the NHS.

7) Very few people can do gymnastics. Jumping backwards off a bench then doing a forward roll does not count.

8) The desire to eat a large bar of chocolate after a PE lesson is usually too great to resist.

So, we all know about inflation. If inflation is at, say, 3%, then there is 3% more money in circulation this year than there was last year. So, if you added up all the numbers in the bank accounts with all the actual physical cash, the final number would be bigger than it was last year. Now, my question is, where does this extra money actually come from? Does the Bank of England just casually change a few numbers in few lucky bank accounts? Who decides how much is added? Is there a commity for it? What happens if they get it wrong?

I wouldn't be OK with CCTV in my house or anything, but I don't get what all the fuss is about. It's not an invasion of privacy - if you're on CCTV, you're already in public! People can already see you! Do you think someone's going to blackmail you because they have a video of you walking strangely? Do you think the government spend their evenings watching archive CCTV footage in order to build a complex pschological profile of every citizen for their dasterdly plan to control our minds?

So I work in a music shop. So I have to do the whole 'Would you like a bag with that?' thing. Some people say no these days, which we should definitely be congratulating them on.

Some people say yes as though they are affronted that I even asked the question. They are entitled to a bag. How dare I try to trick them out of their bag!

Some people act as though they're doing me a favour by taking a bag. 'Bit of free advertised for you', they say. Now, there are two problems with this. Firstly, I don't actually care about how much profit the shop makes. I don't get commision. Secondly, very few people walk down the street reading people's carrier bags.

Some people make excuses. Sometimes it's just a quick 'because I forgot my shopping bag', but I've heard some really quite elaborate tales:
'Well...um...yes I would like a bag, actually. I don't normally take them but when I was going out this morning I accidentally dropped my shopping bag in a puddle, and I was in such a screaming rush that I just didn't have the time to go in and get another one, but I promise I'll reuse the one you give me as often as I can...'

While it's good to see the environmental message getting through, it seems rather odd that I can cause so much guilt through the distribution of thin sheets of plastic.